Mark’s blog

....

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 08:04:41 -0700

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. "

Jim Elliot
Martyr

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

9 tests you should take before considering parenthood

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:14:40 -0700

MESS TEST: Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST: Obtain a 55-gallon box of LEGOs. (If LEGOs are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST: Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST: Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff it into a small net bag making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST: Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill it halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Get the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST: Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing them until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN): Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 mo. Now remove 10% of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN): Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT: Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and table manners. Suggest many things they can improve as well. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you'll have all the answers.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

QotD: Tomorrow's Daydream

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:32:59 -0700

If you could do anything you want tomorrow, what would it be?
Submitted by Becca-Pink.

go to heaven!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Rock and Roll Re-Releases

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 17:46:22 -0700

Everybody is remaking their oldies hits!

- Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker"

- The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip"

- The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone"

- Ringo Starr - "I Get By With A Little Help From Depends"

- Marvin Gaye - "I Heard It Through The Grape Nuts"

- Procol Harem - "A Whiter Shade Of Hair"

- Johnny Nash - "I Can't See Clearly Now"

- Leo Sayer - "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"

- ABBA - "Denture Queen"

- Paul Simon - "Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver"

- Roberta Flack - "The First Time I Ever Forgot Your Face"

- Commodores - "Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom"

- Bobby Darin - "Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash"

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

The Voice of the Martyrs

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:47:06 -0700

The Voice of the Martyrs

http://www.persecution.com/

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Looking Back

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 20:06:04 -0700

Read Galatians 1:11-24

Can you look back at a point in your life and see a marked change from who you once were? Or, does your life still reflect much of the same things you did several years ago? Maybe you still use foul language or you’re still doing those things you knew you needed to stop doing years ago! Imagine for a moment what would have happened had the apostle Paul not been radically changed the day he met Jesus on the road to Damascus, Imagine he just became a believer but never really went anywhere once he believed. He likely would have returned home and went to bed, woke up the next day made a few tents and repeated the same thing over and over, day after day, month after month and year after year, maybe popping into the house church on Sunday mornings to shake a few hands and hear the elder say a few words of exhortation. Then, it’s off to the sizzler for lunch and beer and football after dinner. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? The Apostle Paul do that! Are you kidding! Why, he’s the guy that started many churches, ordaining elders and yielding himself to God for the writing of all those wonderful spirit filled books of the bible as he went along…. Why, He’s the guy who sustained tremendous persecution just for speaking the name of Jesus Christ.

So my next question is this: if it isn’t ok for the apostle Paul to go home and become a Christian vegetable then why is it ok for us? Paul knew where he came from, he was zealous in the persecution of the church and in his own words he admits he tried to destroy it. After his encounter with the Lord Jesus Christ however, his life was no longer the same, even being able to look back and see the hand of the Lord separating him before he was even born. Friends, our lives should reflect some sort of a radical change for the Lord over time, no! It usually doesn’t happen over night and not everyone will become a Paul or for that matter no one will become a clone of another. God has His own set plan and purposes for each of our lives but he’s not going to force it upon us. God didn’t force Jesus to go to the cross but rather Jesus obeyed the will of the Father and likewise it is a choice for each of us to pick up our cross and follow after Him.

In verse 11 Paul tells the Galatians that the gospel which he preaches is not some made up fairy tail or good story to live by, the gospel isn’t even some attempt by man to reach up to heaven and connect with God, rather, the gospel is the account of our great God bowing down to connect with man and save us from our own depravity and the message which Paul preached was not his own but rather given to him by divine revelation. I love the way this chapter ends with the Christians in Judea praising God as the author and source of what they heard in Paul. At first glance you might think they were praising God because this terrible persecutor of the Christians is now off the streets. But, I believe it is something greater than that, I think they praised God because they knew what a terrible reputation Saul of Tarsus had and for this man to become a Christian could only come from an act of God. So again I end asking the same question I started with, can you look back at a point in your life and see a marked change from who you once were? Can others?

Grace and peace in Christ Jesus,
Mark

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

Odd Facts

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:11:42 -0700

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.

Q. What distinguishes "60 Minutes" on CBS from every other TV show?
A. No theme song.

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.

Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular?
A. Obsession

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to count until you found the letter "A"?
A. One thousand

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey

Q. There are more collect calls on what day of the year?
A. Father's Day

Q. What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

08' Mens Retreat Devotional Notes

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 15:12:47 -0700

As I was traveling down a busy street on my way to complete a job request one Friday afternoon, after what had already been a very long and wearisome week…. and as I was staring down the likelihood of working another 6 or 8 hours on Saturday just to keep from drowning in a pool of work come Monday.

I found myself praying to the Lord asking for some rest from the weariness of the world that I currently reside in and I felt the Lord say to me: “rest in me,” “ take my yoke and my burden upon your shoulders” and I was reminded of Psalm 23 which the Lord has used to speak to my heart in so many ways over the years, but that day I found it reminding me that while I am surrounded by calamities, by rising gas prices, food costs and so on……

1) He reminded me through the psalm that he is still MY shepherd
2) He restores my soul when I am weary
3) He reminded to fear no evil though it be all around me Because He is with me
4) He reminded me that his promise is sure and I will dwell in His house forever

However…. That is not where the Lord led me to begin this study.

-There is an old fable in which three apprentice devils were talking to Satan. The first one said, ‘I will tell people there is no God.’ Satan replied, ‘That will not fool many, because many people know there is a God.’

The second devil said, ‘I will tell them there is no hell.’ Satan said, ‘You will not fool many that way, because the people know there is a hell.’

The third said, ‘I will tell people there is no hurry.’ Satan replied, ‘Go, spread your message and you will ruin millions.’

-Friends, the fact is we live in a society that is trying its hardest to figure out how to squeeze 26 hours into 24 and doing a darn good job of accomplishing it.

-Many of us have overwhelming demands from work or school or both! Not to mention… for those of us with children we may also have… dance recitals, baseball games, football games, soccer, after school programs, boy scouts or girl scouts, swim lessons, Vacation Bible School and lastly dinner by 8 and bed by 9 hopefully. As a whole we have become a society that is over stressed, over stimulated and over worked and showing no signs of letting up.

-In case you haven’t noticed the whole world system is designed to take your eyes off of that which is important.

-Satan has used this world to destroy many an unbeliever in this world, but also many a believer as well.

-As people turn there back on the simplicity of Jesus Christ to chase after things.

-With all these demands it is very easy for us to get our priorities jumbled up.

-It is often common practice to feed the mouth that screams the loudest and starve the one that doesn’t. Many folks treat their relationship with God like the garden in the backyard, always meaning to go out their to water and feed it, to check on it and see it grow and it just never happens.

-The fact is that God doesn’t want to fight with you, he wants to draw you by His love and his grace. He wants you to be melted into a place that you recognize that he loves you…. He loves you so much that he sent His only begotten son to live a life of ministry, to share with us the truth, to share with us the good news of Gods great love and grace but it didn’t stop there…. Jesus Christ was also sent to die a horrible and terrible death at the hands of man so that those who might believe in him, that might place their faith in Him would have life and not just life but life abundantly.

-In Exodus 23:10 God gave the nation of Israel a garden telling them “Six years you shall sow your land and gather in its produce, “but the seventh year you shall let it rest and lie fallow, that the poor of your people may eat; and what they leave, the beasts of the field may eat. In like manner you shall do with your vineyard and your olive grove. “Six days you shall do your work, and on the seventh day you shall rest, that your ox and your donkey may rest, and the son of your female servant and the stranger may be refreshed.”

-And again in the book of Leviticus God gave the commandment to Moses saying: “Speak to the children of Israel, and say to them: ‘When you come into the land which I give you, then the land shall keep a Sabbath to the LORD. ‘Six years you shall sow your field, and six years you shall prune your vineyard, and gather its fruit; ‘but in the seventh year there shall be a Sabbath of solemn rest for the land, a Sabbath to the LORD. You shall neither sow your field nor prune your vineyard. (Leviticus 25:2-4)

-Israel's failure to keep this command ultimately determined the length of their captivity; Leviticus 26:34,35 says “Then the land shall enjoy its Sabbaths as long as it lies desolate and you are in your enemies’ land; then the land shall rest and enjoy its Sabbaths. As long as it lies desolate it shall rest—for the time it did not rest on your Sabbaths when you dwelt in it.

-So…. God tells them He will make sure the land gets its Sabbaths by exiling the nation to an enemy land; This was given as a promise from God and later prophesied in the 25th chapter of Jeremiah saying: “Therefore thus says the LORD of hosts: ‘Because you have not heard My words, ‘behold, I will send and take all the families of the north,’ says the LORD, ‘and Nebuchadnezzar the king of Babylon, My servant, and will bring them against this land, against its inhabitants, and against these nations all around, and will utterly destroy them, and make them an astonishment, a hissing, and perpetual desolations. ‘Moreover I will take from them the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the sound of the millstones and the light of the lamp. ‘And this whole land shall be a desolation and an astonishment, and these nations shall serve the king of Babylon seventy years.

Gods promise was fulfilled in the Babylonian captivity of Israel recorded in 2 Chronicles 36:20-21 because the command was ignored.

-Friends…. have you ever noticed that looking for rest somewhere else outside of Jesus Christ results in a long exhausting endless pursuit that leaves you high and dry.

-when I think the ideal example of a restlessness, I am reminded of the devil, the bible tells us in 1st Peter that out adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Friends the devil is tirelessly plowing his own fields both day and night feverishly searching for ways to keep you from finding rest in the Lord.

-My first question that I ask today is, are the fields of our hearts being allowed to rest in Christ our redeemer? Or are we openly sucking the marrow out of life waiting for the devil to take us captive?

-One of the questions I think that will be asked of each person that stands before God in Judgment is: What did you do with the time that was given to you? What did you do with my Son? Did you put him on the back burner so you could chase your own dreams and ambitions? Did you trample him underfoot as you sought to keep pace with this world? And, for many the most tragic words that will echo throughout the corridors of heaven is: ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

-The most damaging, destructive war of all is man’s war against God, to think that we as human beings can fight against God is absurd but it’s happening every day as men and women choose not to live according to the precepts of God.

-The very same precepts, the very same principles set up in the word of God are designed to go to the heart because that is what needs our time and our attention.

-You know… many people believe they are controlled by the actions set forth from the command center called the brain, but that is not so…. It is the heart that is the rudder of our actions, Jesus himself said that it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks!

-Jesus tells us in the book of revelation chapter 22 saying:
Blessed are those who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. 15But outside are dogs and sorcerers and sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and whoever loves and practices a lie. 16“I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star.” 17And the Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let him who hears say, “Come!” And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

-In the second part of this study I want to take a look back at the verse I quoted from Matthew at the beginning of this study

-Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

-Jesus first says to us “come” it’s really that simple…. Jesus continues and says all you who labor and are heavy laden…. And we know from the book of Ecclesiastes that labor apart from God is vanity, you can work and work and work until your fingers bleed and it amounts to nothing…. so, I see our Lord saying…. come, come to me you who are tired of laboring in vain. Secondly when we come, come to Him with all your fears, your doubts, your worries, your burdens, etc…. Jesus doesn’t qualify for us who comes and who doesn’t, what kind of labor you do…. be it a tax collector, a lawyer or an assembly line worker…. He doesn’t distinguish how heavy your burdens are, be they light or heavy…. God is no distinguisher of persons and the last time I checked He died for both Jew and gentile

-but, notice what Jesus says next, He says, “I will give you rest” I see this as Jesus once again serving, serving us His yoke… it’s not a forced thing, notice that we must choose to take it upon us.

-so…. before we go any further I suppose the question begs to be asked, “what is a yoke?” A yoke is a piece of timber, hollowed or made curving near each end, and fitted with bows for receiving the necks of oxen; by which means two are connected for drawing. From a ring or hook in the bow, a chain extends to the thing to be drawn, or to the yoke of another pair of oxen behind.

--So we have this picture of this heavy thing binding us with this heavy load trailing behind and Jesus says…. Give it to me and I will serve you a yoke that is much easier and if you think about it, it’s really an amazing offer….. A yoke around our neck implies that we are servants of someone or something and our yoke under the world has us serving many masters doesn’t it? if you really stopped to think about it, the masters in this present world system are almost limitless and Jesus tells us No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.…. Jesus says you can’t serve the one much less a multitude of masters… But, Jesus says I will give you one yoke and the one I give you will bring you rest and peace and it is easy and light because I am a gentle and lowly master.

-Now, looking back once again at the command God gave the nation of Israel to rest the land and the multiple warnings God gave and yet they still ignored…. However…. even after He made those promises, even after he allowed them to be taken captive….

-God also made another promise: we see that laid out in….

Leviticus 26:40-45 But if they confess their iniquity and the iniquity of their fathers, with their unfaithfulness in which they were unfaithful to Me, and that they also have walked contrary to Me, and that I also have walked contrary to them and have brought them into the land of their enemies; if their uncircumcised hearts are humbled, and they accept their guilt— then I will remember My covenant with Jacob, and My covenant with Isaac and My covenant with Abraham I will remember; I will remember the land. The land also shall be left empty by them, and will enjoy its Sabbaths while it lies desolate without them; they will accept their guilt, because they despised My judgments and because their soul abhorred My statutes. Yet for all that, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not cast them away, nor shall I abhor them, to utterly destroy them and break My covenant with them; for I am the LORD their God. But for their sake I will remember the covenant of their ancestors, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the nations, that I might be their God: I am the LORD.’ ”

-Unlike the nation of Israel at the time, today we have the hope of salvation, of grace, of peace and rest, all that being found in none other than Jesus Christ. Friends if you have been running from God, chasing the world and the things of it. STOP, stop running around the cornerstone which needs to be put at the foot of your life.

-Friends put Jesus first, put on the yoke of Christ and lastly remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6: “seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

"Raising My Sights"

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 15:09:51 -0700

My six-year-old granddaughter, Caitlynd, and I stopped at a Tim Horton's donut shop for a blueberry muffin. As we were going out the door, a young teenage boy was coming in.

This young man had no hair on the sides of his head and tuft of blue spiked hair on top of it. One of his nostrils was pierced, and attached to the hoop that ran through the hole, was a chain that draped across his face and attached to a ring he was wearing in his ear. He held a skateboard under one arm and a basketball under the other.

Caitlynd, who was walking ahead of me, stopped in her tracks when she saw the teen. I thought he'd scared the dickens out of her and she'd frozen on the spot.

I was wrong.

My GrandAngel backed up against the door and opened it as wide as it would go. Now I was face to face with the young man. I stepped aside and let him pass. His gracious response was a kind, "Thank you very much".

On our way to the car, I commended Caitlynd for her manners in holding open the door for the young man. She didn't seem to be troubled by his appearance but I wanted to make sure. If a grandmotherly talk about freedom of self expression and allowing people their differences was in order, I wanted to be ready.

As it turned out, the person who needed the talk was me.

The only thing Caitlynd noticed about the teen, was the fact that his arms were full. "He woulda' had a hard time to open the door."

I saw the partially shaved head, the tuft of spiked hair, the piercings and the chain. She saw a person carrying something under each arm and heading toward a door.

In the future, I hope to get down on her level and raise my sights.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

What your baby would tell you if he could talk:

nobody@vox.com(Mark) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 19:19:53 -0700

1. I have my blankie, you have your caffeine. Enough said.

2. Don't be jealous, but I think I'm in love with the ceiling fan.

3. I know where the remote control is, but it'll cost you.

4. To you, it's just an empty egg carton; to me it's PlayStation 2.

5. Actually, I don't mind sitting in a bathtub that I've peed in.

6. Bang a screwdriver slowly and steadily into your gums. That's what teething feels like.

7. Two words I'd rather not hear from you: rectal thermometer.

8. There's no point in teaching me to say "mama" or "dada." My first word is going to be "hat."

9. I've told you five times what cow says. If you can't remember, I'm not telling you again.

10. There is no question that I can cry longer than you can listen.

11. I'm not just wildly throwing my food. I'm exploring the laws of gravity, estimating mass, and testing wind velocity.

12. If you wanted a good sleeper, you should have gotten a cat.

13. Who exactly is that baby in the mirror you keep asking me about?

14. If my bottom is so darn cute, why is someone always trying to cover it up?

15. Who are you to tell me how important it is to sleep alone?

16. What you secretly believe is true: I am much smarter than other babies.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend